I'm a worry-wart.

I've always been something of a worrier. It's strange, but I'm also an optimist. I find it very easy to encourage others to not have fear, but it occasionally overtakes me.

My hubs put a few gray hairs in my head last night. Not his fault, because he kept me pretty informed about where he was going, what he was doing. But my mind kept running through all of the worst scenarios.

He and his friend, Jason, met up at the beach yesterday. I knew about this and really didn't expect to be able to get in touch with Matt until a bit later. But, as it got dark, the worries about sharks or drowning started to set in. Now, I myself had gone for a moonlight swim with these fellas before I came back to Tennessee, so I really shouldn't have worried when I didn't get a call from Matt by midnight. But I did worry. When he finally called, I was so relieved!

He then told me that they were going to hang out in the downtown area for a while. I told him to be careful and call me when he was on his way home. By three a.m. I was petrified that he'd had a drink or three and gotten behind the wheel (even though I know Matt would NEVER do that), or had fallen asleep on his way home. My mind played out endless possibilities. At last he called! He and Jason had pretty much just hung out and talked. Such an overactive imagination I have!

Matt told me they were both pretty tired, and rather than drive home at such a late hour, they both decided to crash on the beach. I immediately championed that idea, because the visions of him falling alseep at the wheel had been broadcasting through my mind for the last couple of hours.

Of course, this morning, when I woke up, I immediately worried that someone might have harmed them while they were sleeping there out in the open on the beach. I mean, ANYONE could surprise you if you have your guard down. Once Matt called me this morning, I felt better.

But I'm troubled by my inability to avoid fretting. I have just realized that I fear that which I have no control over. And that's no way to live. I don't want to someday become a parent who refuses to let their child go outside to play for fear of them being hurt. I believe what I'll do the next time I feel fear taking the wheel is pray that God gives me peace and reminds me that He is the one in control.