Back Home...

I went back home to attend my grandpa's funeral. Matt & I elected to drive, as we were unable to find flights that were affordable and worked out with our timeline. It was a seriously long drive, but at least I had terrific company.

When we arrived in Tennessee, we visited with my family for a few hours before heading to my friend's house to spend the night. After that first night, we stayed with my mom, per her request. My sister and my husband finally met, and they both seemed to like each other. Yay!

I maintained my composure about Grandpa's death throughout this entire time, until some of the songs he used to sing were played at his funeral. All of a sudden, the floodgates opened. It didn't matter that I knew he was back home, in heaven. I just felt so sorry for myself, that I would never hear him sing again in this life. I realized how very much he will be missed. However, that Grandpa is reunited with Grandma now is very comforting.

Grandpa had a military burial by the VFW Honor Guard, and my family was so intensely proud and touched. I even have a shell from one of the 21 rounds fired to salute him.

After the burial and a great deal of visiting with my family, Matt and I began our drive back to Florida.

Now we're back home.

It happened.

I got the call at 3:15am. My grandpa has passed away. I'm intensely sad but calm. I keep waiting for the feeling of shattering inside, but so far it hasn't come. We have a long drive ahead of us, and I think I will most likely hold it together until we arrive. Please pray that Matt and I arrive safely in Tennessee. Please pray for my family, especially my mom and sister. I feel so numb, that I really don't have much to say. I don't think I'm in shock, necessarily, because I was expecting this. I don't know how to describe myself, other than in need of prayer.

Tales of a Mean Boss

So, I feel a bit like a hag today. Yesterday evening, I had to become very direct and short with one of my employees. What I said to her needed to be said, but I hate feeling like a mean person. I will elaborate...

There have been some budget cuts that have made it necessary to reduce our expenditure in wages. In other words, some people have been laid-off and we've had to get creative with scheduling to ensure that we are operating efficiently. This essentially means that all of the full-time employees are wearing several hats.

This week, by the time Friday arrived, most of us had put in some 10+ hour days. So when the teenager that works the front desk on Saturdays called me and told me that she wouldn't be able to be there because her cousin was in the hospital, I was trying to scramble for a solution that didn't involve a full-time person working seven days this week (some of us are going in on Sunday to do some computer training). I couldn't come up with any ideas for who could cover her shift, so I called her back. Here's the part where I feel like a meanie...

I told her that I didn't have anyone who was trained well enough to cover her shift, and that she needed to visit her cousin either Friday night or Saturday after work. I know she thinks I'm a troll. I could hear it in her voice. I hate it when I have to be the enforcer. But, I'm like: why should her cousin being in the hospital keep her from being at work? Is she going in to donate a kidney or something? I realize when family is in the hospital, you want to be there to support them. God, I wish I could be back in Tennessee to help my mom take care of my grandpa! My mom gets up early every morning, feeds Grandpa, changes him, changes his bed, gives him his medicine, waits for hospice care to arrive, gets ready for work, goes and works a full 8-10 hour day, comes home, changes Grandpa, changes his bed, makes dinner, feeds Grandpa, eats herself, cleans the kitchen, does work that she's brought home with her, maybe watches a half-hour of television, goes to bed. The next day, it's exactly the same routine. I'm sure that my mom would much rather be able to spend her days making sure that Grandpa is comfortable and happy, rather than go to work. But, when you have a job, you go to that job.

The only reasons for NOT going to work, in my opinion, are being so very ill that you cannot do your job and/or being contagious, or an immediate family member dying or being so ill that you are NEEDED to be at their side. Maybe I set my standards for work-ethics too high because I have such a strong mother. But, I just don't see why her visit to her cousin HAD to fall into the 5-hour window that I needed her to do her job. And I said as much. Therefore, I will probably always be a bad-guy in her eyes. It's unfortunate. Was I wrong???

In the months to come...

So, I've spent a big portion of my time talking and writing about how great everything is. And it is. My marriage is fantastic, and we enjoyed the holidays immensely. And my albatross of a car payment is gone. And I'm going to start working evenings, so I can sleep in every day. All of these things are wonderful.

However, my joy in life is tinged with a bit of sadness. My ninety-year-old grandfather is approaching his final days. Over the last month, he has been in and out of the hospital, and is now home under the care of hospice and my devoted mother. We don't know if he has weeks or months left. I do know that he wants to die at home, so hopefully, my mom can continue to care for him until his last day. In the time to come, I want to enjoy all of the wonderful memories I have of Grandpa. Pray with me that he is able to be comfortable in these final days, and that my family is able to let him go with peace. Pray that we feel comfort in knowing that each day draws him nearer to God and the company of Grandma, from whom he has been separated since her death over a year and a half ago. I spent time with Grandpa when Matt and I went to Tennessee for Thanksgiving, and I'm so glad I had that opportunity to tell him that I love him. I hope to make it back to see him one more time, but I'm not certain if it will be possible.

Please keep my family in your prayers.

Catching Up!

It has been a while since I've posted on my blog...So much has happened! Matt and I went to Tennessee for Thanksgiving, along with Matt's dad. It was great to see my family, although I really missed my absent sister. It stuns me to think that it's been over a year since I last saw her. If that is surprising, it is even more so (to me) to think that Lori and Matt have never met! Unreal. Anyway, Thanksgiving was great.

Two days after we returned from Tennessee, Matt & I jaunted off to Europe! It was our belated honeymoon and it was fabulous! We visited London, Paris, and Prague. I loved all three cities, but Paris was my favorite. Sure, it smelled every bit as bad as I had been told, but I loved the language, and was even able to learn a few phrases. And people there were FRIENDLY! I'd heard that the French hate Americans, but it's just not true. The Louvre was spectacular, and we didn't even see but just a tiny bit of it. It probably didn't help that we were incredibly hung-over. (The first night in Paris was terribly fun, but I don't remember much after 9pm. Thank you, alcoholic memory loss.) I did see some photos of that night, and am somewhat embarrassed. Oh well, I can't beat myself up over it. It was fun. We met our friends, Claudia and Brian, in Paris. They were every bit as great as we'd expected.

We saw a couple of theater productions in London. To elaborate a bit, we had front-row tickets to both Wicked and Mary Poppins! They were both phenomenal, and I am loving reliving every moment listening to the soundtracks! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Prague, of course, is Matt's favorite city, and I loved it also. It was the prettiest of the places we've visited. Shopping there is also great, due to the fortuitous exchange rate! We purchased hand-crafted Christmas ornaments, gifts for our friends and family, and also a set of the bohemian crystal for which the Czech Republic is renowned. We were fortunate to have friends in this city, also. We met up with Sisina & Angela, both friends of Matt from online. We also made a couple of new friends, Neysa & McKenzie, who were recent Prague imports from America.

We made a lot of fantastic memories on our trip. Some are stories that can only be told aloud, not committed to paper, in my opinion. Ask me about the hotel manager in London and the peep show. Or about my antics at Dany's in Paris. Or about my lovely hat, R.I.P. I'll gladly tell the tales.

In the meantime, it's now January. We've long since returned from our trip. We celebrated Christmas, making new traditions in our new marriage. We rang in the New Year, perhaps retiring some old traditions...We'll see what this next year brings. I will endeavor to keep this blog somewhat up-to-date. I feel as though I am glossing over so many important details, but, alas, if I were to elaborate any further, I would be so caught up in talking about my life that I wouldn't be free to live it. And it is a fantastic life.