Mindless

I am suffering from an empty head. My mind has completely left me. It's already in Florida. Which normally wouldn't be a problem, since my heart lives ther already, except that I am taking a test in twenty minutes. Hopefully, I will be able to pull it together long enough to ensure that I maintain my A in that class....Pray for me.

Soon, my body can rejoin my heart and mind. Tomorrow, actually.

Not Afraid

I am getting ready to embark upon the most exciting adventure of my life. My existence will never be the same. Should I be scared? Maybe. Am I? Not in the least.

I have never been more certain that I am on the right path than I am now. A seemingly crazy idea took root in my mind, and now my faith in that idea and its execution is unshakable. Does this make me crazy? Maybe. Thankfully, I'm not alone in my insanity.

Proceeding on this path I'm on means leaving another path behind. Will I wonder "what if"? I can't imagine that what I'm relinquishing could ever compare with the splendor of what I am gaining.

Starting this lifelong journey with Matt is what my heart and soul craves to do. I am not afraid of it in the least.

Thankful

Too often, I don't pause to thank God for all of my blessings. It is far too easy for me to coast through life and feel entitled to the great life I have. Sure, I am thankful for my family. But how often do I really compare my situation with that of others and realize how good I really have it? I have never gone hungry, not had a warm place to sleep, or felt unloved. Sure, I am thankful for my health. But, have I ever had to face a life-threatening illness or debilitating disease? Sure, I feel like I received a good education. But, I never faced uncertainty that I would attend college, or even finish high school.

I listened to a charismatic speaker earlier that caused me to be a great deal more thoughtful about inequity in our world. It made me want to rage against injustice. It also made me want to express much more thankfulness.

Thank you, God, for a loving family and a stable home and a good childhood. Thank you, God, for my never having had to face cancer, or AIDS, or anything remotely serious healthwise. Thank you, God, for the opportunity to grow and learn. Thank you, God, for my future husband and his family (soon to be mine). Thank you, God, for all of my forgotten blessings. Thank you, God, most of all for your love, grace, and mercy. Lord, always keep my heart grateful for all that you have given me. And, God, please pour out these same blessings on all of your children.

Yes! vs. no....

The last couple of days have given me reason to ponder my ability to always say "yes" and never say "no." I seem to have an inability to ever be willing to let someone else down. Sounds like I'm the perfect girl, right? Wrong.

I mean, sure, there are things for which an answer of "Yes!" is a no-brainer. Marrying Matt, "YES!!!" Would you like to save 15% or more on your car insurance? "yes." Will you come out to fifty-cent beer night, "Yes!"

It's the "no" part of a closed-ended question that I am unable to utter. Or, supposing I do manage to squeak out the words, I lack conviction and am easily persuaded to change my answer to the affirmative. My homework will not get done. I will go to work hung-over. I am going to buy that thing (whatever it may be) even if I'm not sure about it. I am the salesperson's dream. A budget nightmare.

I am encouraged to know that I have acquired my very own knight in shining armor to go about the land dispensing "no's" on my behalf. Thank God for Matt. All of my "yes's" for him are heartfelt.

A slight change...

Normally, this blog is my venue to gush about all things Matt....and I really could gush for hours upon end about how excited I am to be returning to his arms in just under two short weeks. I can elaborate on all of the emotions rushing through every cell of my being about what I anticipate will take place during my visit....but I'm going to save all of that for later.

Right now, I would like to state for the record that I HATE economics!!! I lost interest in my class about forty minutes ago, and I can't go back. There is no returning to my previous attentiveness during the remainder of this class period, which luckily, is very little. I have shopped online, checked my email, sent Matt text messages. The instructor needs to have a little call button that I can push to alert him that he is losing me. If there were monitors on my vital signs, I flatlined (in terms of being able to pay attention to this drivel) a while back. Can I sue for malpractice?

Countdown...

Now I am counting down. A couple of days until I get over my cold. A few weeks until I get to see Matt again. Less than a month until spring break (and this, I expect, will be a biggie!) Three months until I am united forever with my true love! My entire world will change. I am beside myself with joy and anticipation. Countdown until May begins now.